Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
