I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
