craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
we're making bets on your personal life
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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