shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
