Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize