woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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