Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
