Having a random hookup so left but love u
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
