I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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