If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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