your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
