It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize