do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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