i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
