Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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