I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
