she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
