Midget sex pt 2 tonight
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
i now understand why vodka
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
