how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
it glows. i had to have it.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.