we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.