you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
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I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
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You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."