If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I need to align my fucking chakras
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
