Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize