If i come over, it means nothing
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
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What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
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I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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