Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
