I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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