We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
