The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
