I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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