yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I just found puke in my bra..
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
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