that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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