we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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