i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
My legs feel like baby dolphins
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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