come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
