I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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