Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
