Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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