he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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