I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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