No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
