Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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