I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
