it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
We need to get me chipped asap
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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