I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
