I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
third nipple confirmed
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
