I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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