Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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