listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
