Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
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Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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