I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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