Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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