I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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