I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
