Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
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He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
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and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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