Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
