dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize