Where are you?
In a non slutty way
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
