we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need a sexual gate keeper
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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