Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
