filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize