i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
