i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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