I'm sorry my penis didn't work
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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