Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
